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"There You Are 

By Tom Hoobyar

"...There you are."  

Before I go on to explain this, I want to offer you a warning -- this article may not be for all of you.  

How do you know whether you should keep on reading? Here's who should skip this article and go on doing whatever you were doing when I interrupted you:  

If your life is as happy and fulfilling as you want, just close this and don't read it -- better yet, send it to a friend who may want to "change lanes", and live their daily lives with a little more interest, a little more gusto.  

If you DON'T have any memories or visions that hamper you or drain you of energy or ambition, don't bother with the rest of this -- because I'm going to share something I've learned that makes my mind my friend instead of my accuser.  

The complete saying, as I mentioned last week is, "No matter where you go, there you are."  

So what do I mean by starting this article with "there you are"? I want to talk about where YOU are. And where you're going.  

Here's a story that was told to me by a favorite teacher -- Two guys are on a lunch break, opening their lunch boxes.  

One guy says, "Damn! Cheese sandwiches again! Every day I get nothin' but cheese sandwiches. I HATE cheese sandwiches!"  

"So," the other guy says, "why don't you ask your wife to make you something else?"  

"Won't do any good. I make my own lunch."  

There are many choices that can be made in our lives. You make a choice each morning when you choose to start a new day. Although, perhaps that's the ONLY choice you may make during that day.  

There was a period of some years when I got out of bed and went into my day without thought or challenge. My decisions were pretty much in the groove -- Strawberry or Apricot jam on my toast?Sandwich or salad for lunch?  

Day in, day out.  

Simple, because I KNEW my choices were limited. I had a "family to feed." I was "doing fine", so why rock the boat?  

Then came a moment of Truth. I found myself sitting in a quiet businessmen's bar late in the day, bored, looking at my watch to see if it was late enough that I could go home.  

That was when I realized that I was sitting in a place that I didn't want to be, because I didn't want to be in my office -- and I didn't want to go home. And I was working at a job I hated to pay for this "padded cell" lifestyle.  

I had done this to myself. My eyes welled up and a lump formed in my throat.  

"You okay, Tom?" the bartender asked, as he noticed me dabbing at my eyes with a napkin.  

"Yeah, Freddie," I answered as I turned to leave, "Just an allergy attack."  

That was the day I realized that we ALL "make our own lunch." So I went home and began to change my lifestyle. It took a couple of years, but I began living a life that was much more to my liking.  

And I don ’t have “cheese sandwiches” anymore, unless I choose them.

"No matter where you go, there you are," I said at the beginning of this letter. What I meant was, there is the "you" that you think you are right now. But you could be another "you" if you wanted to.  

Maybe you're not living a life that reduces you to tears in an upscale bar, but are you living the life that you could have? The one that's waiting for you?  

You don't have to totally destroy your life to move it in a more satisfying direction. But just ask yourself, "Is this day going to be like yesterday and all the days before that, or could it be a new start of the rest of my life?"  

I invite you to consider this -- is this the life you hoped to be living?  

And I'm not talking about becoming another Lance Armstrong or Mother Teresa. I'm just talking about you being the best version of yourself that you could be.  

Suppose you walked through your life, loving everybody and being happy inside yourself no matter what the outside world was doing, because you KNEW that you were making the most out of what you had.  

You can do this for yourself, if you want.  

Actually, YOU are the only one who can deliver it, and in fact you are supposed to deliver it. And it ’s so easy to begin. Here's the first step:

Most of us don ’t do the things we can do, because deep down we don’t think enough of ourselves. And it ’s not just that we put up with m inor violations like the one at the restaurant that I wrote about.

Even more often, we just don ’t ask for what we want - or say out loud what our preferences might be.

I ’ve coached hundreds of entrepreneurs over the last ten years, and most of them held themselves back by habits of thought that weakened their sense of value. These thoughts are so subconscious that most of the time we don ’t even know we ’re thinking them.

It ’s almost as if the limiting thoughts were thinking us!

You need to think thoughts that STRENGTHEN you instead of weakening you. So first you DECIDE. Then, take this simple step.  

Think of a picture or a memory that pops up from time to time – that’s a limiting view of you -- I don't know if it's a past failure or an embarrassing moment, or a memory of you thinking of something that you are not proud of.

It may even be factually or historically accurate -- But whatever it is, I bet it doesn't do you a whole lot of good. And you know, just because it's true doesn't mean you have to dwell on it. But it's interesting that most people don't just automatically pick GOOD memories or thoughts to dwell on.  

Now let's change that unhealthy thought habit.  

So take the time to get the yucky thought - a picture or words in your mind - and GET IT SPECIFICALLY. Not generally, like “Oh, I probably tell myself I’m not worth it.”

Huh-uh. That won ’t work. You are seeing a specific picture, or hearing a specific phrase. Take the time to find it.

Did you get it? If not, please give yourself this extra minute to find it. It will be worth it.  

Okay. Now, if it ’s a picture, push it farther away from you, notice it getting smaller. Then find a positive image of you, one that is also true, and put that in place of the yucky one. Actually do the visualizing to see the new picture in the same place and size as the old one.

If it ’s a phrase, push it away so it comes from way far away, very faint and if possible, high-pitched and so soft.

And replace it with another statement about you that is positive - and true, and is coming from the same place the old phrase used to originate from, and is that loud.

Notice how easy it is, and how comfortable you are -- you're breathing's probably easier, and your facial muscles may be relaxed a bit. Good, take a deep slow breath.  

If you keep this up for a couple of minutes, a couple of times a day, in three weeks it will become automatic. And your change will also be automatic. You'll see.  

Sound like voodoo? Or some kind of hippy-dippy ritual?  

It ’s not. What I’m showing you and telling you to do is what your mind has always done, all through your life.

Only it ’s done it unconsciously, automatically. And randomly, without your adult best interests in view. Sorta like driving in the dark without touching the steering wheel.

You don't want to go through life that way.  

So this is how you can take charge, in just minutes a day.  

Quietly, by yourself, without asking anyone ’s permission or even giving anyone any notice. This quiet two minutes twice a day will change your life, if you want it.

If you have ever wanted a fuller, more exciting life, one with more direction to it, more little climaxes and high points, you can have it.  

Or maybe you just like cheese sandwiches every day. But if you'd like some variety, remember what I said last week when I quoted the man about the meaning of life. It only takes one word to give meaning to your life."

Now is the time to have a happier and more meaningful life, call to make an appointment. Call now, 805-341-3884, or e-mail us at contactus@ctr4personalpower.com.  
 

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